Is it possible to be happy when everything seems to be going wrong?

Life’s daily grind can sometimes feel like a list of never-ending challenges, be it money woes, the reckless driver who just cut you off in traffic, a heated disagreement with a coworker, or the profound loss of someone close to you. Achieving happiness in the face of obstacles may seem like an impossible task.

However, the essence of life lies in finding joy and fulfillment, regardless of the battles we face. This is especially true for those of us over 50 who are navigating through unique transitions and challenges, such as career shifts and empty nests.

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In this stage of life, there are many opportunities to explore, learn, grow, and enjoy life's pleasures despite its challenges.

It’s not just about seeking joy in the high points of life but also finding contentment and peace in the small, everyday moments and learning to dance in the rain rather than just waiting for the storm to pass.

Author Nancy Queen with father, mother, and daughter

My Personal Journey to Happiness

In fact, I found myself at a crossroads six years ago when my mother passed away from breast cancer. I was there with her as her caregiver in her final weeks and had to make some very difficult end-of-life decisions to make. As much as I was blessed to be with her in her final days, it was also a mentally and physically exhausting endeavor that I couldn’t digest until months after she was gone.

It was such a trying time in my life, but looking back on it, I can tell you there was one main thing that got me through it. Puzzles. What? Your mom was dying, and you’re talking about puzzles, Nancy?!? First of all, puzzles were one of my mom’s favorite activities, and there was no shortage of them in my parents’ basement.

In her final days, hospice had been called in, and we had a hospital bed set up in Mom’s favorite room of the house, the sunny living room. I wanted to stay nearby and give her time to rest, yet I needed something to relax my mind. Knowing how much my mom loved puzzles, I went down to the basement, dug up some puzzles I hadn’t seen since junior high, and worked on them while sitting beside her.

These seemingly mundane puzzles brought me focus, joy, and a wonderful closeness with my mom during a very trying time. And looking over it now, it was a small happiness I found in the midst of so much sorrow.

My mom passed away quietly on a beautiful spring day, on my fiftieth birthday, with a bouquet of her favorite spring flowers from her garden tucked next to her on the bed.

I am so grateful that I had the time to care for my parents through that difficult time, was able to celebrate my mom’s life and chat with her in her final days, and found joy in the process of this major life moment.

And now, six years later, I dive into puzzles regularly. I’m reminded of my mom and her strategies to solve them each time. It’s a calm and closeness to her I enjoy with every single puzzle.

This experience prompted me to write this post so that you may find simple joys amid all of life’s hardships.

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”

— Dolly Parton

Section 1: Cultivate a Positive Mindset

This guide will show you how to find joy, improve your well-being, and embrace life's challenges through a multifaceted approach, empowering you to rediscover happiness no matter what obstacles you face.

1. Practice Gratitude

Cultivating gratitude is like planting seeds of joy in our minds. When we acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of our lives regularly, our perspective shifts, overshadowing our woes with contentment.

Daily Gratitude Journal: Start by maintaining a daily journal to jot down things, however trivial or significant, for which you are thankful. This intentional act of recognizing goodness can profoundly increase feelings of happiness and decrease stress, making daily life more joyful.
You can use any notebook or journal to log your daily gratitude. However, if you’re looking for a bit of guidance and inspiration on how to get started with gratitude journaling, here are some of my favorite gratitude journals you may want to try. The Gratitude Journal: 5 Minutes a Day for More Happiness, Daily Gratitude Journal for Women, The Gratitude Sidekick Journal by Habit Nest
Express Gratitude: Take it a step further by expressing your gratitude to the people around you. A simple thank you, a note of appreciation, or a kind gesture can strengthen your relationships and uplift your spirit.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset believes that dedication and hard work can develop abilities and intelligence. It’s a powerful tool to face and evolve through life’s challenges.

Embrace Challenges: View challenges as opportunities to learn and grow rather than insurmountable obstacles. A positive approach to difficulties can enhance your resilience and satisfaction with life.
Continuous Learning: Dedicate time to acquire new skills and knowledge. Whether it's through reading, taking up a new hobby, or enrolling in a course, continuous learning fuels personal growth. Carol S. Dweck’s “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” is recommended for insights into developing such a mindset.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding as we would treat a friend. It's a gentle reminder that imperfection is a part of the human experience.

Kindness over Criticism: It’s easy to beat yourself up over any little mistake! Instead, be your own ally. When you stumble, be understanding and forgiving to yourself instead of being harsh and critical.
Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment or suppression. Recognize them, let them be, and let them go. Mindfulness is about being present at the moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Common Humanity: Remember, everyone has their battles and makes mistakes. Accepting our flaws and extending compassion to ourselves in times of failure fosters emotional well-being and resilience.

Incorporating gratitude, a growth mindset, and self-compassion into your daily life are stepping stones to cultivating a positive and joyful mindset. These practices can act as a cushion, softening the impact of life’s blows and allowing you to bounce back with renewed vigor and happiness.

Section 2: Establish Healthy Habits

Achieving long-term happiness requires the development of positive habits that promote overall health and well-being. By taking care of both your body and mind, you can establish a strong foundation for a satisfying life. This section explores the importance of consistent exercise, a well-balanced diet, and routine health checkups, which together form a crucial triad of elements in the pursuit of optimal health.

1. Regular Exercise: Embrace the Joy of Movement

Regular physical activity is a cornerstone of well-being, acting as a conduit to enhanced mental and physical health.

Explore Diverse Activities: Discover and engage in various exercises like yoga for tranquility, walking for reflection, swimming for endurance, or dancing for exhilaration. Explore different activities until you find what resonates with you and brings you joy.
Consistent Routine: Cultivate a consistent exercise routine, integrating it into your daily life. Consistency fosters habituation, and soon, the act of exercising becomes a natural and enjoyable part of your day.
Benefits of Exercise: Beyond the obvious physical benefits, exercise enhances mood, alleviates symptoms of depression and anxiety, and improves sleep quality, collectively contributing to a happier and more balanced life.

2. Balanced Diet: Nourish Your Body and Mind

Nutrition fuels our bodies and minds, which are pivotal in our overall well-being and happiness.

Opt for Nutritious Foods: Consume a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, and whole grains. A colorful, varied diet ensures you receive a broad spectrum of nutrients essential for optimal health. Try a weekly meal plan service such as Hello Fresh.
Mindful Eating: Immerse yourself in the experience of eating. Savor your food's flavors, textures, and aromas, eating slowly and without distractions. This practice promotes a healthier and more harmonious relationship with food.
Hydration: Adequate water intake is crucial for maintaining energy levels, cognitive function, and overall health. Aim to consume at least 8 cups of water daily, adapting based on activity levels, climate, and individual needs.

3. Regular Health Checkups: Proactive Healthcare

As much as we might like to avoid them, regular health checkups and screenings are the keystones of preventative healthcare, ensuring early detection and management of potential health issues.

Routine Checkups: Schedule and attend routine checkups and screenings tailored to your age, gender, medical history, and risk factors. Early detection facilitates early intervention, improving outcomes and quality of life.
Body Awareness: Develop a keen awareness of your body and its signals. Respond promptly to any changes or unusual symptoms, ensuring timely and appropriate medical attention.
Knowledge Empowerment: Educate yourself about recommended health screenings, vaccinations, and lifestyle modifications. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions about your health, fostering a sense of control and proactive healthcare engagement.

Establishing and maintaining healthy habits is integral to achieving and sustaining happiness. By nourishing our bodies with balanced nutrition, engaging in regular physical activity, and being proactive about our healthcare, we build a strong foundation for a life filled with joy, vitality, and fulfillment.

Section 3: Build Strong Connections

Building and maintaining robust social connections is crucial for our emotional and mental well-being. We find support, love, and a sense of belonging through relationships. In this section, we will explore ways to strengthen existing bonds, forge new connections, and experience the joy derived from altruism.

1. Nurture Existing Relationships: Deepen the Bonds

Maintaining healthy relationships with loved ones is a reservoir of strength, support, and happiness.

Invest Time and Effort: Devote quality time to friends and family, expressing love and showing appreciation. Cultivate these relationships through active engagement, meaningful conversations, and shared experiences, reinforcing the bonds that connect you.
Open and Honest Communication: Foster a safe environment where thoughts and feelings can be openly expressed and respected. Transparent communication is the backbone of strong, enduring relationships.
Shared Experiences: Engage in activities you enjoy, creating lasting memories together. These shared experiences deepen your connection and enhance the mutual joy derived from the relationship.

2. Develop New Relationships: Discover Shared Interests

Extending your social circle is a journey of discovery, leading to enriching interactions and shared passions.

Seek Like-minded Individuals: Join clubs, online communities, or organizations where people with similar interests gather. Shared hobbies, values, or goals can be a foundation for forging meaningful connections.
Be Open and Approachable: Approach new relationships with an open mind and a welcoming attitude. Be receptive to the uniqueness of each individual, embracing diversity in thoughts, experiences, and backgrounds.
Foster Mutually Supportive Connections: Seek relationships that are balanced, where support, respect, and kindness are mutual. Such connections provide a sense of belonging and contribute to emotional well-being.

3. Volunteering and Giving Back: Elevate Your Purpose

Altruistic actions provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose, enhancing our overall sense of happiness and connectedness.

Seek Volunteering Opportunities: Identify causes or organizations that resonate with you and contribute your time, skills, or resources. Volunteering provides a sense of purpose and an opportunity to impact the community and individuals around you positively.
Experience the Joy of Giving: Altruism elicits feelings of joy, fulfillment, and connectedness. Whether it’s through monetary donations, acts of kindness, or sharing knowledge and skills, giving back enriches your life and the lives of others.
Build Community Connections: Engage with your local community, participate in community events, and support local initiatives. Strengthening community bonds fosters a supportive and harmonious environment, which, in turn, elevates collective well-being.

Building and sustaining strong, meaningful connections are pivotal for mental and emotional well-being. By nurturing existing relationships, creating new bonds, and engaging in altruistic activities, we cultivate a supportive and loving environment that enhances our happiness and enriches our lives.

Section 4: Cultivate a Rich and Fulfilling Life

It's important to always keep learning and exploring new things to live a fulfilling life. This section provides different ways to enrich your life and experience a sense of happiness and achievement.

Starting new hobbies brings opportunities for self-expression and connecting with others.

Dabble in Diverse Activities: Experiment with different activities, whether that's creating art, tending to a garden, or playing a musical instrument. These ventures can unveil unknown passions and provide a satisfying sense of achievement.
Meet Like-minded Enthusiasts: Join clubs or online communities related to your new hobby. Sharing experiences, learning together, and exchanging ideas with fellow enthusiasts can enhance the joy derived from the hobby and foster new friendships.
Celebrate Small Achievements: Embrace the learning curve and celebrate small milestones. The sense of accomplishment experienced, whether mastering a new chord or completing a painting, fuels motivation and happiness.

2. Pursue Lifelong Learning: Expanding Horizons

Pursuing knowledge is a journey without an end, a path to intellectual enrichment and personal growth.

Engage in Continuous Learning: Leverage online platforms, community colleges, or local organizations offering courses, workshops, and lectures on a plethora of subjects. Lifelong learning keeps the mind agile and fosters a deeper understanding of the world around us.
Explore Varied Interests: Dive into different areas of knowledge, from history to technology. Exploring diverse subjects contributes to a well-rounded intellect and can ignite previously undiscovered passions.
Apply Acquired Knowledge: Implement the knowledge gained to solve problems, make informed decisions, or develop new skills. The practical application of learning enhances its value and can bring fulfillment and a sense of purpose.

3. Travel and Exploration: Embracing the World’s Wonders

It's amazing how much we can learn and grow from traveling. Exploring different cultures, landscapes, and histories really opens up our minds and enriches our spirits.

Discover Diverse Cultures: Immerse yourself in different cultures, savoring local cuisines, participating in traditional customs, and interacting with locals. These experiences provide fresh perspectives and foster a deeper appreciation for the richness of human diversity.
Explore New Landscapes: Venture to varied destinations, from tranquil beaches to majestic mountains. The beauty of nature and diverse landscapes can rejuvenate the soul and provide a respite from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
Create Lasting Memories: Collect moments, not things. The memories forged during your journeys will be cherished treasures, a source of joy and nostalgia in the tapestry of your life.

To lead a fulfilling life, we must constantly explore, learn, and connect with the world around us. Trying new hobbies, lifelong learning, and discovering wonders of the world can help achieve this. These experiences bring beautiful memories, enrich our lives, and lead to long-lasting happiness.

Section 5: Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

I understand that life can be stressful at times. That's why I want to share with you a powerful way to improve your well-being. By incorporating mindfulness and meditation into your daily routine, you can cultivate inner peace, balance, and heightened awareness. These practices allow you to live in the present moment, which can reduce stress and lead to a more fulfilling experience. Let's explore how you can integrate these tools into your life.

1. Mindfulness Techniques: Enhance Presence and Focus

Mindfulness allows us to engage fully in the present moment, enriching our everyday experiences and enhancing our overall well-being.

Incorporate Daily Mindfulness: Integrate mindfulness techniques into your daily routine. Simple practices like mindful breathing, savoring each bite during meals, or being fully present during a conversation can profoundly impact your day-to-day experiences.
Develop Mindful Habits: Transform routine activities into mindful moments, whether mindfully brushing your teeth or walking with awareness. These moments of presence can bring tranquility and a deeper appreciation for life’s simple pleasures.
Explore Mindfulness Resources: Utilize resources such as books, apps, or online courses to explore different mindfulness techniques and find what suits you best. Consistent practice can enhance focus, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with the world around you. Check out these mindful quotes, 50 Best Happiness Quotes for a Joyful Life.

2. Meditation Practices: Cultivate Tranquility and Clarity

Meditation is a path to inner peace, increased self-awareness, and mental clarity, fostering a sense of well-being and a balanced life.

Start with Short Sessions: Begin your meditation journey with short, manageable sessions, gradually extending the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice. Consistency is key to experiencing the transformative benefits of meditation.
Use Guided Meditations: Explore apps like Headspace or Calm, which offer a variety of guided meditation sessions to assist you in developing your practice. These resources can provide support and direction, making meditation more accessible and enjoyable.
Explore Different Meditation Techniques: Experiment with different meditation techniques such as mindfulness, loving-kindness, or body scan meditation to find what resonates best with you. Each technique offers unique benefits and can enrich your meditation experience.

As a woman over 50, the pursuit of happiness can be a complex path to navigate. It requires a holistic approach to life, which encompasses fostering positivity, adopting healthy habits, building supportive relationships, leading a fulfilling life, and embracing mindfulness and meditation.

It's not a destination, but rather a journey of self-discovery, enrichment, and meaningful experiences that encourage us to cherish each moment with love, openness, and enthusiasm. Let's unite and share our personal journeys, insights, and happiness to create a beautiful tapestry of positivity and joy.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.