What to Wear to a Memorial Service?
You may wonder what to wear when preparing to attend a memorial service, a celebration of life, a viewing, calling hours, a wake, or a funeral.
My father was a funeral home director for years, so funeral and memorial service discussions were commonplace growing up in our house.
Since funerals are not something most people frequent daily, some of the most asked questions are about what to wear.
If you find yourself in a position to attend a funeral or memorial service, I’ve compiled a list of the most common questions about what attire is appropriate.
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There are also outfit ideas included in this post, so be sure to read all the way to the end.
What’s the Difference Between a Funeral and a Memorial Service?
Before we get started on attire, I want to take a moment to clarify the differences between a funeral, memorial service, calling hours, celebration of life, internment, burial, etc.
A funeral is a service to remember and show homage to a person’s life. It is most often held at a church or funeral home. At a funeral, the body of the deceased is present.
Memorial services or celebration of life ceremonies are the same as a funeral, except the deceased's body is not present.
Calling hours, a viewing, or a wake are, for the most part, the same. They are usually scheduled hours before or the evening before a funeral. Usually, the casket is present and allows people to pay their respects to the deceased's family and have a moment to view the body. This event usually takes place in the funeral home, the family home, or in a church.
The internment or burial usually is immediately following the funeral. It occurs at the cemetery where the deceased is finally resting.
What Do You Wear to a Memorial Service?
Memorial services are somber events; do not wear anything too flashy to draw attention to yourself. According to FuneralWise, the goal is to blend in with the other mourners.
Females should wear dark-colored dresses, skirts, suits, or pantsuits.
Choose conservative silhouettes that aren’t too tight or clingy and have moderate details. Avoid sleeveless, midriff-baring, or open-neckline shirts and blouses. If you choose a skirt or dress, opt for knee-length or longer.
Do not wear flip-flops, sandals, open-toe shoes, or sneakers. Instead, wear flats, pumps, or boots.
Remember that this event is to honor the deceased and show your respects to the family. A visual way of doing that is to dress moderately and respectfully.
For an event like this, it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
Do People Still Wear Black to Funerals?
In the United States, the tradition of wearing black to funerals remains prevalent. Black is considered a color that signifies mourning, respect, and solemnity, and this is why many choose it when attending these services.
However, the expectation isn't for attendees to be clad entirely in black. While black might be the dominant color, there's flexibility in how it can be incorporated into one's attire. For instance, one might wear a black skirt or trousers paired with a shirt of a different color.
It's also worth noting that while black is conventional, it's not the only choice. There's an increasing acceptance of other subdued shades. Colors like gray, brown, and navy convey a similar sense of respect and solemnity. The key is to opt for colors that aren't too bright or flashy, ensuring that one's attire is appropriate for the somber occasion.
Ultimately, the main consideration when choosing an outfit for a funeral is to show respect for the deceased and their loved ones. Choosing colors that reflect the occasion's solemnity helps attendees convey their condolences and support.
Can you wear jeans to a memorial service?
A memorial service is a significant event where individuals gather to remember and honor the life of someone who has passed away. The ambiance of such an occasion is often one of reflection, reverence, and remembrance. As attendees, our attire plays a role in expressing our sentiments, solidarity, and support for the grieving family.
While comfortable and versatile for many day-to-day activities, Jeans may not convey the level of respect typically expected at memorial services. Wearing jeans could be interpreted as a casual approach to the event, suggesting that one might not take the occasion seriously. Such a choice in clothing might inadvertently send a message to the family and other attendees that the event's significance has been overlooked or undervalued.
In some cultures and communities, jeans could even be perceived as a sign of disrespect. This is because traditional memorial services often have an implicit or explicit dress code that leans towards semi-formal or at least more polished attire. By choosing to wear something more appropriate, like slacks or a skirt, attendees demonstrate their awareness and understanding of the gravity of the occasion.
While some memorial services may have a more relaxed or contemporary vibe, where jeans might be acceptable, it's always prudent to consider the wishes and feelings of the deceased's family. When in doubt, it's best to err on the side of caution and select attire that leans towards the more respectful and traditional side.
Can you wear leggings to a funeral?
When attending a funeral, the emphasis is on showing respect and sympathy for the grieving family and honoring the memory of the deceased. The choice of attire plays a significant role in conveying these sentiments. Leggings, much like jeans, are inherently casual and are often associated with everyday, relaxed wear. Given the somber and formal nature of most funerals, wearing leggings might come across as not giving the occasion the gravitas it deserves.
The aim is to wear something that both feels respectful and shows consideration for the feelings of the bereaved. While there's a broad range of attire that's appropriate for funerals, traditional options tend to be favored. Opting for a dark-colored skirt, dress, suit, or pantsuit is more aligned with the customary funeral attire and is more likely to be viewed as suitable and respectful.
Moreover, darker colors are usually preferred as they symbolize mourning and solemnity. By choosing such attire, attendees can seamlessly blend in, ensuring that the focus remains on paying respects rather than on individual outfits.
In some cases, funerals might have specific dress codes or themes specified by the family, but in the absence of such guidelines, it's always best to opt for attire that is understated and respectful. By prioritizing the feelings of the grieving family and the solemnity of the occasion, one can navigate the choice of funeral attire with sensitivity and grace.
What to wear to a casual memorial service?
While a casual memorial service may suggest a more relaxed dress code, it's still essential to prioritize respect and appropriateness in one's attire. In this context, the term "casual" doesn't equate to everyday wear but implies a slightly less formal approach than traditional services.
Being inherently informal and often associated with day-to-day activities, Jeans might not capture the respectful essence typically desired for such an occasion. Even in a casual setting, jeans might seem out of place or overly laid-back.
Business casual wear strikes the right balance for a casual memorial service. Options like dresses, skirts, or slacks offer a blend of comfort and decorum. These choices ensure that attendees appear polished and respectful without seeming overly formal or out of place.
Additionally, opting for muted or subdued colors is a good idea, even for casual services. Bright or flashy colors might stand out and could potentially be seen as distracting or inconsiderate. The overall goal is to dress in a way that acknowledges the gravity of the occasion while aligning with the casual tone set by the organizers or the family. By selecting business casual options, attendees can achieve an appropriate look that respects both the event's casual nature and the memory of the deceased.
What to Wear to a Celebration of Life?
A celebration of life ceremony is a unique occasion where attendees come together to remember and honor the deceased in a manner that focuses on their life, memories, and legacy. Even though it's a celebration, the underlying sentiment is one of respect and commemoration, and attendees' attire should reflect that.
Opting for reserved garments, like dresses, skirts, suits, or pantsuits, ensures that one presents oneself with grace and decorum. These choices are universally acknowledged as being both respectful and polished, making them fitting for such an occasion.
Subdued colors such as black, navy, gray, or brown are preferred choices for such ceremonies. These colors not only convey a sense of respect and seriousness but also align with the reflective nature of the event. Bright colors or loud patterns might divert attention and could be perceived as out of place or insensitive at a celebration of life. The intention is to create a harmonious environment where the focus remains on the memories and stories of the departed.
Even as attendees share joyful stories and reminisce about the happy moments shared with the deceased, their attire should serve as a subtle reminder of the reverence and esteem with which they regard the individual's memory. By choosing appropriate, subdued clothing, attendees can strike a balance between celebrating the life lived and acknowledging the solemnity of loss.
In the image below, I pulled together an example of a suitable dress outfit to wear to a celebration of life or funeral.
Funeral Outfit Idea - Dress Outfit
#1 Simple Black Dress
#2 Elegant Accessories
What to wear to a viewing?
A viewing is a solemn event that allows family and friends to come together, pay their respects, and offer comfort to the bereaved. The atmosphere is typically one of reflection and mourning, and the attire worn by attendees should mirror this sentiment.
Wearing classic garments in dark shades is the best approach for such occasions. Classic clothing, whether a well-tailored suit, a simple dress, or a skirt and blouse combination, tends to have a timeless quality that is universally considered appropriate and respectful. These choices communicate an understanding of the gravity of the situation and a desire to honor the memory of the deceased.
Dark shades like black, navy, and deep gray are particularly fitting. These colors have long been associated with mourning and reverence in many cultures. By wearing them, attendees send the grieving family a silent message of empathy, support, and solidarity.
Though it might be tempting to showcase one's personal style or latest fashion acquisition, a viewing is an occasion where the focus should be entirely on the departed and their family. Flashy or overly trendy items might divert attention and could potentially be perceived as a lack of sensitivity.
By dressing in somber colors and clothes, attendees demonstrate their respect and consideration. This simple gesture can have a profound impact, offering solace and reassurance to the grieving family, affirming that their loved one's memory is being treated with the dignity and respect it deserves.
Funeral Outfit Idea - Pants Outfit
#1 Start with Classic Suiting
#2 Wear a Basic Tee
J.Crew Slim perfect t-shirt
#3 Add Timeless Accessories
Proper colors to wear to a funeral
Is it okay to wear bright colors or white to a funeral?
Funerals, memorial services, and calling hours are occasions steeped in tradition and reverence. Across the United States and much of the Western World, the general etiquette leans towards wearing colors that reflect the solemnity of the occasion. Bright colors and white can be perceived as overly vibrant and distracting in such settings, potentially drawing attention away from the primary purpose of the gathering: to honor the departed.
Bright colors, in most instances, are seen as celebratory and joyous, while white, although symbolizing purity and peace, can also be associated with weddings and festive occasions in Western cultures. In the context of funerals, these colors can come across as incongruous, even jarring, against the backdrop of mourning and reflection. Thus, the recommendation is to stick to dark or muted colors like black, gray, navy, or brown. These shades evoke a sense of respect, introspection, and solidarity with the grieving family.
However, as with many traditions, there can be exceptions based on personal relationships and individual preferences. The deceased may have had a favorite color that held significant meaning to them or was reflective of their vibrant personality. In such cases, it can be a touching gesture to incorporate a hint of that color as a tribute to their memory. By wearing just one accessory in their favorite color – be it a flower, pin, or necklace – attendees can strike a balance between traditional funeral etiquette and personal homage.
For those who might not own any black attire or feel that black might be too stark, it's perfectly possible to assemble a respectful ensemble using other colors. For instance, a skirt outfit can be made suitable for a funeral by pairing a gray or navy skirt with a subdued blouse and perhaps a dark blazer or cardigan. The key is to maintain an overall tone of respect and understatement, ensuring that the outfit feels appropriate for the occasion.
To conclude, while traditional guidelines exist for funeral attire, there's always room for thoughtful, personal touches that honor the memory of the deceased in a genuine and heartfelt manner.
Funeral Outfit Idea - Skirt Outfit
#1 Start with Conservative Basics
#2 Add Timeless Accessories
What to wear to a funeral in the summer?
During the summer months, attending a funeral poses unique challenges in terms of attire. While the event's somber nature necessitates the traditional dark colors, the heat and humidity call for adaptations in fabric choice and outfit structure.
Opting for dark-colored, lightweight, breathable fabrics ensures that you maintain the respectful tone appropriate for a funeral while also staying relatively cool and comfortable. Materials such as cotton, linen, and silk are excellent choices for summer funerals as they allow for air circulation and are naturally cooling.
A loose-fitting black dress is a classic option that never goes out of style for such occasions. Pairing it with a strand of pearls adds an elegant touch, creating a look that is both respectful and sophisticated. The simplicity of this ensemble ensures that you look polished without appearing overly ostentatious.
For those who prefer pants or skirts, relaxed fit linen pants paired with a silk blouse offer a balance of formality and comfort. The combination is both understated and appropriate for the occasion. Similarly, a cotton knit skirt paired with a linen top provides another tasteful option, ensuring you remain cool while also adhering to funeral etiquette.
Furthermore, the practical aspects of funeral attendance, especially if there's a burial service, should be considered. Grassy burial sites, especially those softened by recent rain, can be treacherous for attendees wearing stiletto heels. Not only is there a risk of the heels sinking into the ground, making walking difficult, but there's also the potential for damage to the shoes or even accidental trips and falls. Instead, consider wearing wedges, flats, or thicker heeled shoes which offer more stability and are better suited to uneven terrains.
In summary, when dressing for a summer funeral, it's crucial to combine the decorum required for the occasion with the practical considerations of weather and location. By making thoughtful fabric and footwear choices, attendees can ensure they're both comfortable and appropriately attired.
What do you wear to a memorial service in the winter?
Winter memorial services present unique challenges as attendees seek to balance appropriate, respectful attire and the need to stay warm in colder temperatures.
When selecting garments for winter memorial services, it's paramount to maintain the traditional conservativeness expected of such solemn occasions. Dresses, pants, or skirts in dark hues like black, navy, or deep gray remain the preferred choices. These colors are universally recognized as being respectful and are in line with the somber nature of the event.
However, given the colder temperatures, the choice of fabric becomes crucial. Warm fabrics such as wool, wool blends, or cashmere are particularly suited for winter memorial services. These materials not only provide the necessary warmth but also have an inherent sophistication and elegance, ensuring that attendees look polished and respectful.
Layering is an effective strategy to stay warm without compromising on the event's formal attire expectations. Beginning with a base layer, like a turtleneck, provides added insulation. Over this, one can wear a button-down shirt, which can either be left visible or fully or partially concealed by the layers above, depending on personal preference and the overall look one wishes to achieve. Topping this ensemble with a sweater ensures another layer of warmth, and if the sweater is of a finer material like cashmere or a finely knit wool, it can also add a touch of refinement to the outfit.
For added warmth and a finished look, a blazer can be worn over the sweater. This layer not only provides extra insulation but also enhances the formality of the outfit, ensuring that it remains appropriate for the memorial service. If outdoor segments are a part of the service, such as a graveside gathering, a coat can be added as the final layer. Ideally, this coat should be of a length that complements the outfit beneath, ensuring that the overall ensemble looks cohesive.
In essence, attending a winter memorial service requires careful outfit planning to ensure that one stays warm while also adhering to the decorum and respectfulness expected of such events. Through thoughtful layering and fabric choices, attendees can achieve an ensemble that is both fitting and functional for the season.
What is funeral home attire?
A funeral home is a place of mourning, reflection, and tribute, much like any other venue where funeral or memorial services are held. The environment and purpose of the event dictate the level of formality and decorum in attire rather than the location itself.
When attending services at a funeral home, the same standards of dress that apply to a church-based service should be observed. This demonstrates an understanding of the gravity of the occasion and a desire to honor the memory of the deceased, regardless of the setting. The etiquette is universally acknowledged: it's about showing respect, offering condolences, and supporting the grieving family and friends.
Opting for skirts, pants, or dresses in classic silhouettes ensures your attire is timeless, respectful, and free from distractions. Sticking to dark colors, such as black, navy, or deep gray, helps to maintain an understated and respectful appearance. These colors are universally recognized as suitable for mourning and convey empathy and solidarity with grieving people.
Furthermore, it's essential to ensure that your attire is modest, avoiding overly flashy or ostentatious elements that might draw attention or be perceived as insensitive. Remember, the day's focus is on the departed and the bereaved, and the choice of attire should reflect this sentiment.
If you find yourself uncertain about what to wear or if you're faced with a unique funeral or memorial service attire situation, don't hesitate to seek guidance. The bereaved family or the funeral home might have specific requests or guidelines. And if you're reading about funeral attire online, as indicated by the "please leave a comment below," many platforms and bloggers are keen to provide advice and clarity, ensuring attendees feel comfortable and appropriately dressed for the occasion. As the sentiment suggests, questions are welcome, and responses will be given promptly to assist in any way possible.
